Hellooooo, 2009


ARCHIE is heading to the bar to refill his empty beer glass and walks by a hot, scantily clad year. It’s 2009. She’s dressed like she’s ready to party, but her girlfriends haven’t arrived yet. As she looks for someone to buy her a drink, she glances furtively at Archie, who stops in his tracks to talk to her.

Oh, hello, 2009. You kind of snuck up on me last week because I was busy having a blast in Durham, NC. I don’t remember having that much fun hanging out and partying with such warm, genuine, and hot people. I hope they all friend me back on Facebook.

But anyway, here you are. Wow. You’re pretty hot. Can I buy you a drink?

2009 nods. Archie motions to the bartender, pulls out a wad of cash, and gets 2009 a Hendrick’s and tonic. The bartender brings him another pint of Guinness.

To be honest with you, I’m really glad that you’re here, because I think you’re supposed to be the year for me, but I just don’t know it yet.

Archie looks around warily, as if ready to spill state secrets. He moves toward 2009 and whispers in her ear.

A whole bunch of things are supposed to happen this year.

2009 takes a sip of her drink and smiles wryly.

If I’m lucky and quit playing with my new PS3, I should be able to graduate this year. Yeah, I know. I can’t quite believe it either. It feels like I just started. But the lines on my face—oh, they’re there—and how I’ve become even more cynical over the past four years are proof that I’m ready to get done and move on.

And you know what else? I’m turning 30 this year. I know! I look like I’m 12, right? I’m looking forward to it. Really.

But you know what freaks me out about the whole thing? I’m a little… concerned is too strong a word… I’m, uh, just a little curious about what’s next for me. You know, after I finish my terminal degree and have nowhere else to go but the real world.

Will I finally be satisfied? Or will I find my way to yet another academic program, like an MBA or a Divinity degree or maybe something in the arts? Will I stay in DC or move to San Francisco? Or Boston? These are the things that keep me up at night.

2009 smiles and places her hand on Archie’s back reassuringly.

Yeah, I know. Nothing to worry about. Things will happen the way they’re supposed to.
And really, I’ve already got a few aces already working for me. I don’t know what the next chapter in my life will look like, but it looks pretty awesome so far from where I’m standing.

Archie chugs the remainder of his beer and pulls himself closer to 2009.

You know, I’ve only known you for a few minutes, but I already like you. Any chance I can get your number?

2009 pulls out her card and places it gently in Archie’s hands. As she does, she notices her girlfriends coming in the front door. She gives Archie a knowing look, smiles, and gathers her belongings. She gets up, gives Archie a big hug and begins to walk to meet up with her friends.

Wow, thanks. Yeah, you are awesome.
We should totally hang out again! Drinks are on me!


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