Secrets: Not 25 Things

Well, I successfully avoided the “25 things” virus that plagued Facebook a few weeks ago. Not that I’m generally against inane icebreakers like that; after all, I’m an orientation geek. I live for that kind of stuff.

But, in the spirit of self-disclosure (and since this is my blog), I thought I’d share a couple of secrets:

1.     I’m a prolific writer. At any point in time, I have an essay, a poem, a song, a manifesto, a short story, a novel, or a comic book in progress.

2.     I was the seventh best French student in Rhode Island when I graduated high school (fifth, if you don’t count the parochial schools). Ooh la la.

3.     I’ve been playing the piano for over 25 years. No one else in my family does, except for my grandfather, who died when I was a month old. My mom tells me I have his gift.

4.     One of the first cassette tapes I pilfered from my parents: Air Supply’s Greatest Hits.

5.     I love anthropomorphism. My creative inspiration is Gary Larson’s The Far Side. (I wrote a serial novel about a lustful cow, a murderous chicken, and a hunky farmer during my freshman year in college.)

6.     When I was 11, I produced and directed a home movie about a tragic superhero who rescues a princess from the clutches of an evil alien overlord. The movie had elaborate costumes, moody set pieces, and a musical score. Although my mom did say that while she enjoyed the movie very much, she would prefer that I not burn that many candles without adult supervision.

7.     When I was 15, I convinced my IB English teacher that instead of writing a paper about A Tale of Two Cities, I would compose a song from the perspective of one of the characters in the novel. The song was entitled “After All This Time,” a musical soliloquy delivered by Lucie Manette when she finds out that her dad is still alive. I got one of my classmates to sing it, which counted as her assignment, too. Both of us got an A.

8.     When I was 17, I convinced my AP Biology teacher that for a group project, I would write and direct a short film about the spread of a virus – in this case an evil alien virus – that started massively killing people. The main characters were an emergency room doctor, a CDC official, and a mysterious cigarette-smoking shadow man. The final product was eight minutes of cheesy genius that combined elements of ER and The X-Files.

9.     I get the strawberry frosted donut at Dunkin Donuts.

10.  I have the names of my kids already picked out.


2 thoughts on “Secrets: Not 25 Things

  1. I used to get the strawberry frosted donut from the dunkin donuts inside the crystal city underground mall on my way to the field in DC.

  2. I don’t know why but this pic of a squirrel makes me laugh every time I see it. I’ve named him”Nutsy”.

    Also, “seventh best French student in Rhode Island” sounds like the title of a David Sedaris essay.

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